Final Review of 'Authentic Happiness' by Martin Seligman

I finished reading Seligman’s ‘Authentic Happiness’.  Overall, I quite enjoyed it and it was a good reminder for the coming New Year, to take stock of one's strengths, and to design a good life for oneself.  I think that many of us in the Western World are lucky in that we no longer have to expend energy on basic survival; instead, this book reminds us that we can construct a pleasant, meaningful and related existence.

Here are some pros and cons of the book, as I see them:

Pros:

1)  A good deal of data is presented. For those of us who are science minded, Seligman does not as us just to ‘trust him’ but ge also presents us with a mountain of empirical evidence to support his claims. There are a few places in the book where he is clear that his recommendations are based on speculation and NOT data, and I think that’s smart.  As a scholar, I still am interested in his informed opinion, even if there is no research, to-date, backing a specific claim.

2) The book is very practical.  There are times when he directs you to a website where you can take free questionnaires to determined your strengths and attachment style, for example.  You can generate your own unique happiness formula and come away from this book with some concrete ideas about how to live your life differently.

3) The book assumes the reader is relatively bright;  Seligman’s style of writing is not overly simple or overly complex. I think that a clinician or researcher could get something out of this book (I did) but so could a lay-person.

4) The book has broad application; Seligman he addresses happiness in many facets of life, including marriage and parenting.

Cons: 

1) The book unnecessarily demeans and oversimplifies psychodynamic theory;  There are a number of times where Seligman denigrates dynamic (Freudian) theory, in his book.  I understand why he does this:  psychology has evolved over the years and there may be some benefits to the reader in contrasting old ways of thinking about happiness and positivity to new ways of thinking.  However, there are contemporary versions of dynamic therapy that have empirical backing and I worry about the reader who has a dynamic therapist and becomes convinced that their therapist’s orientation is faulty.

2) The book fails to address diversity (i.e., is the research applicable to everyone regardless the gender, race, and sexual orientation?).  I teach sexuality classes to undergraduates and also, in my practice, see quite a few LGBT clients.  If I try to read the book with their eyes, it seems as if it excludes a lot of ways of being, in the world.  On one hand, Seligman gives a good many personal anecdotes about his marriage and raising his children that make him seem human, However, these personal anecdotes end up sounding overly male and Caucasian, in my opinion.  I respect that Seligman IS a white male, but I think he could do more to both talk about the data’s shortcomings with other populations and also to try and include other populations in his book.

Overall, I will be recommending this book to some of my clients.  I particularly think it’s a great book for the New Year.  It can be ordered here through Amazon UK's website.

Second book of the month-- 'Authentic Happiness' by Martin Seligman

When I went to graduate school in 1988, we were educated in psychological testing, statistics and research design, and psychopathology.  At the heart of psychology was the treatment of psychological ills and the removal of suffering.  Since that time, there has been an emergence in the field of ‘Positive Psychology’—psychology that is strength based and focuses on promoting happiness, as opposed to relieving suffering.  My other book that I will be reviewing at the end of the break is Martin Seligman’s ‘Authentic Happiness’.   You can buy it from Amazon UK, here.

So far, what I like about this book is that it is 100 percent based in scientific evidence. Seligman doesn’t just tell you what to do, to have a happier life and expect you to simply trust him.  He walks you through the research that exists on each of the components of happiness and convinces you with DATA.  He also has a website that goes with the book so you can take some of the questionnaires he refers to, within the book.

Once I am finished, I will give you the full scoop.

Some light reading for the holidays

So occasionally I read and review a self-help book to use in my practice.  Feel free to read along with me if you would like. 

The one I have been recently reading is about forgiveness.  It’s called “8 Keys to Forgiveness” by Robert Enright, and can be found here on Amazon.  It’s available as a kindle book, as well.  Before I bought it, I specifically looked for something that was not spiritual in nature.  In my initial search, I found that many books written about forgiveness have a spiritual or religious focus. While I think that spirituality can be an important component in many peoples’ wellness, I am biased toward Western Medicine.  I knew that there was a good deal of research available about the health benefits of forgiveness, so I looked for that. 

Many of my clients have past abuses or hurts that they are working to understand and heal.  Sometimes those hurts were perpetrated by a parent. I am of the firm belief that typically, ‘parentectomies’ aren’t very helpful for people.  While some might need interpersonal distance from close family members to heal from a past hurt, or to protect themselves from current ones, portraying the perpetrator (especially if it is a family member or loved one) as ‘all bad’ promotes black and white thinking that is not helpful to people in the long run.

On the other hand, asking someone who has been seriously injured by another to ‘forgive’ is no small matter.  It takes time, and work, and patience.   At times, it even seems disastrous to tell someone who has recently experienced a severe injury to start a process toward forgiveness.

Let’s see what’s inside the book…

Keeping your marriage intimate

I have a lot of couples that come into my office looking for tips.  This article is a decent one with some very practical suggestions.  Enjoy.

Date Night

How much 'stuff' does one need, to be fulfilled?

I ran across this article the other day, and now am looking forward to seeing the movie.  It's about a man who, following a relationship break-up, decides to give up his worldly possessions.  He films the process, for a year, and creates a documentary.  Here is a link to the article:  documentary about giving up ones' possessions

One example of a tiny house

When I moved to Denmark four years ago, I originally decided that I was going to bring most of my belongings.  However, when I looked at some quotes for moving expenses, it became clear that it was entirely cost prohibitive.  Most people who move their belongings (i..e., furniture) overseas are either wealthy or have a company paying for the move.  It dawned on me that I was really going to have to be selective about what I brought over here, from the States.  Week, after week, I got rid of things.  They were either sold on Craigslist (the American version of Den Blå Avis), given away, recycled, or thrown away. What followed was a deep sense of relief; even without my belongings (including a car, which I sold), I could be and would be just fine.

I became interested in the tiny house movement, and, to this day, my retirement plans are to live tiny, half time, somewhere in the US desert.

Feel free to share your thoughts about how owning 'stuff' relates, or doesn't relate to happiness. Enjoy the attached article.

When your partner comes from another country...

Many of my clients are non-Danes married to Danes.  Here is a fun and insightful article about choosing to marry someone from a different culture.
New York Times article-- foreign spouse

Coping with the sexual side effects of antidepressant medication

I remember when Prozac first came out, in the late 1980s.  It was marketed as a kind of miracle cure for depression, and was considered a preferable alternative to the then MAO-inhibitors and Tricyclics that were being prescribed at the time.  Prozac was marketed as having almost no side-effects, which was in stark contrast to the available drugs for treating mood disorders. Soon after doctors started prescribing Prozac,  we began to get complaints from patients about their ability to orgasm and sometimes their ability to experience sexual desire.  We were so enamored with this miracle drug that I think we often were unempathetic to our clients' concerns because, wouldn't everyone rather feel happy than be able to have an orgasm?  Since then, our notions about the importance of sexuality have evolved.  Also, the number of SSRIs on the market has increased and some atypical antidepressants (i.e., Wellbutrin) have been introduced that have been shown to be effective.  Clients who have sexual side-effects on one medication can be tried on a variety of medications until they find one that helps them but produces the least number of side-effects
.
I want to mention however, that while I sympathize with people who have sexual side effects, it is nearly always helpful for individuals to attempt to define sex in the broadest possible manner.  When one defines sex in the most heteronormative (i.e., penile-vaginal, penetrative, leading to orgasm) fashion, it can create unrealistic expectations.  Many of us will, at some point in our life, be on a medication that affects our sex drive, become disabled, and/or we will ALL age.  Our ability to be broad minded and adventurous regarding sex will help us have healthy sexual lives throughout the years to come, no matter the condition of our biology and body.

Here's a helpful article about this topic from buzzfeed: Click here